Tips for Your Father of the Groom Speech

It is a new season – just great for newer ideas for your father of the groom speech. There are many people who think they have the best ideas or the best usable tips in such cases. However, you must always understand that there are multiple ways of approach and there are no schemes that would work in every single case. While a father of the groom speech is required at any wedding, people have different conceptions. At some weddings, people will tell you that you should be the first or second person to speak (to give a speech). For other people it is normal to assume that your speech is only the fifth or so in the line, because the maids of honor and the best man should go first.

groom's father speechesThe first principle ever is that you need to let go of the traditional way of thinking. Today, things are rather custom and created in a way that the involved parties think of as best. One of the good approaches is to ask your son and his lovely bride – let them tell you how they wanted the order of the speeches to be.

If your wedding speech won’t be among the first ones, you should know that some of the already prepared ideas might be told by others. This frequent trap has caught many people, because they never assumed there might be a change of plans on site. So then, when the moment came, people who had prepared 3-4 minutes of speaking either ended up speaking just one minute or telling the same ideas in 3-4 minutes, causing general boredom. If you think about these variants – you will quickly find out that neither of them was the right solution.

Being open minded about everything

The first tip I would give any father is to be open-minded, even if it’s your long awaited father of the groom speech. Although you are the speaker and it’s your couple of minutes to share ideas and whatever else you wish, you are not the central point of the event. You should never forget that the light of the event is the young couple, who is about to go for a new and long journey of life together.

One of the first steps of being an open person is accepting the fact that despite several weeks or months of preparations, you might be obligated to change all plans as soon as you get there to speak. I know it is not always the easiest thing to do, but it is definitely doable.

Then, some people might behave differently, in ways you didn’t expect them to. In such cases, don’t act rapidly, think 10 times before saying a word, because you might take wrong attitudes while you assume that your attitude is the right one. It is easy to be in a hurry and do something stupid but it’s much harder if you want to be wise and to only do what is the best to be done.

Starting preparations way in advance

Another thing you would never want to try is to leave things on the last day. The last week is always so overloaded that you can’t even think about the father of the groom speech. It is not as easy as many people assume and it isn’t just like every day you’d have time – on the contrary, you will find yourself in situations during which you can’t even sleep enough.

I always try to recommend that people start preparing their speeches at least 2-3 months before the wedding. I know that for some people this is like “why should I do that”? You should do that for many reasons. One of the reasons is that you will never know when the young, newlyweds will ask for your help. And as soon as that happens, what will you do? Will you tell them something like “oh, sorry, I can’t because I am writing my father of the groom speech”? You can definitely count on anything, but never on such lame excuses. By the way, you could afford yourself not to help them, you could afford yourself to do other things, but then the results are something you never expected – these people won’t count on you and they will avoid you constantly.

Another good reason is that you can focus on quality. Trust me – it is more than too extreme and too hard to think about quality, content and all at the same time. You will probably find yourself re-doing the entire father of the groom speech at least a dozen times. To be more realistic, a good speech goes at least 100-200 times through editing. Of course, this isn’t much at all, especially if you think about the time you have, which is at least 2 full months. Also count on a reality which is unavoidable: the last weeks will be wilder in the sense that your time will be less and there is a slight possibility you won’t even have the chance to edit the speech anymore.

Use the help of your family whenever possible

Now your son is about to begin a new journey and with at least 80% of his human being he began that journey already by making the decision of marriage, by doing the wedding and all of what belongs to these events. Obviously, during the time you prepare your father of the groom speech, you will need help a lot of times. For example, maybe you have written the introduction and some additional parts for your speech but you have no idea how long it takes if you begin to say it in front of others. This is one of the good examples of how your family is of a lot of help for you. You can ask them to sit down, to listen and to say their critical opinion and then you will realize how it all is in the eyes of others – and that is exactly what you need to make sure that your speech will be listened.

Then, you need to make some decisions about the jokes that you will use with your speech. If you are a funny guy, you need to beware of the instances during which your jokes are so many that people can’t even enjoy and appreciate them. Besides that, you need to make sure about what types of jokes are to be used with a wedding speech. You should be aware of the fact that not every joke is good for a wedding, only certain types of jokes. For some tips and ideas and even recommendations on your speech jokes you can also ask your family – feel free to ask your wife, your cousins, your parents (if they are still alive). These things are of good help.

It is also highly useful to have your family members listen to what you are doing, because they will be able to criticize you without faking and saying “oh, John, this was amazing”. This is what some so-called friends tell us, they encourage us to things, which aren’t even good enough. On the other hand, family members, since they truly love you even if you are wrong and mistaken many times, they will always tell you if your father of the groom speech is not good enough, not well-written enough, not pleasant enough. Yes, if they criticize you, then it might happen that you will feel nervous or irritated about these opinions. Trust me that this is good, because if you feel irritated it means they have told you about some true things. Make sure to listen to them and to bear with their honest opinions. Many times in life the opinions that hurt the most are the best recommendations to improve your life ever – and this applies for the speech too.

You should also reconnect with the family and try to write a speech, which talks to everyone. Think about who will come to your son’s wedding – those people will definitely notice if you blow things up, be it with the speech’s style, length or anything else. So, you can talk to family members, you can consult with them to find out what is best for you. Also, during family reunion, you will notice if some people have bad opinions because they hate you or that they have bad opinions because they want to tell you how your life could be better, how your speech could be written in a better, just that you can’t listen and can’t apply the things they recommended. It is probably a harder way for your personality, but it’s worth doing!

Keep the structure alive, always!

With the father of the groom speech, you can never change the structure of the speech too much. However, don’t assume that the structure has no level of flexibility – even more, it has as much flexibility as you wish, you just need to access it. For example, you can’t go to speak without an introduction. Although most of the people are aware of the fact that they are attending your son’s wedding, although they are aware of the fact that you are the father of the groom, but they will still expect you to tell an introduction. In the introduction, you can simply tell people a sentence about the location, the weather and then it is recommended to proceed to the parts during which you express how grateful the family is for their presence. This is very important, because while for some of the guests is was very simple to get there, for others it meant a lot of efforts and tiredness (because they might have travelled from far away, they might have faced several difficulties to make it possible such as handling extra work hours to ask for 2-3 free days).

Then, it is always a good recommendation to talk about your son. If you talk about your son first, it is the best way to go about it. This is always a frequent trap, a frequent problem for many people who simply fall into the wave of telling hilarious stories about their sons, without realizing that these stories will insult their sons. Don’t repeat such mistakes and trouble making – your family might laugh about it and everyone might pretend it was okay, but it is indeed a gesture that people will remark, but not due to friendly reasons.

Don’t forget that by talking about your son you also need to talk about the bride. Of course, it is also the same about the bride, because you should never try to embarrass her or to tell stupid things about her, especially not in the father of the groom speech. Then, you will not necessarily be able to hold a different part just about the bride. If this is your case, the best thing and the best method to go with is to handle a story about the couple. If you tell the couple’s story, like when they met and how, why they decided to go for a wedding, then it is far better and more amazing. People after all looking forward to the best stories, to the reality of how love and life united two hearts, two destinies.

Then, as the groom’s father speech structure mainly demands, you need to get closer to the ending. However, that doesn’t mean you can end your speech just after you have mentioned about the couple or the bride separately. People generally prefer to go with father’s advices, with quotes or anything else, something creative if you wish. If you go for the creative part, then it is the best, because that is what people won’t be expecting. If you have no good enough idea to become creative about the part before the ending, you can go the classical way, meaning that you can either quote some love quotes, love poems or from movies and books. You should however choose every single quote wisely, because you never know if the wrong quote causes some small “disaster”, by the fact that some people will consider you have meant to tell them how wrong they are, or how smart you are. That is not the point of this part – all you need to make sure about is to tell things in a way that people are able to listen to you, in a way that people will understand that your intention was only to share your personal life experience for the benefit of the couple (or some famous people’s life experiences).

The final part of the speech is the toast proposal. Unfortunately, many people face difficulties with this part, because they have no ideas how to formulate their toast proposals. It is not always easy to come up with your own toast proposals, but it is easier if you can simply read someone else’s and adapt it to your father of the groom speech. Obviously, adapting it doesn’t mean copying it. You should never copy, because it only leads to bad things, such as people believing you have copied the entire speech and thus you didn’t even care about the even or about the speech.

Final tips, some rules to follow

One of the final tips I would give out for every reader is that of the time length. You should never speak more than just 4-5 minutes. Trust me, even if it seems like a good idea, it will never work out, because if you speak more people just become bored.

Then, you should always adapt to the situation, meaning that if you find that your speech is repetitive, you should change some of the ideas. It isn’t a problem if the speech is only 2-3 minutes – don’t worry about that. Some people even told one-minute speeches which rocked the guests’ hearts! It all depends on how you say it and about the general attitude you have towards this.

It is also good if you can use a proper body language and gesticulations accordingly. If you don’t know how to gesticulate, you can simply watch and learn from YouTube or read some articles about some psychological rules. By following these rules, by following the lifetime experience of others who have made an art about talking in front of a public (even if not for a wedding speech), you will make sure to use the best possible approaches!

father of the groom toast