Today it is good if one can make their speeches unique. I heard many people who were claiming that they have a good formula for a unique father of the groom speech – but reality showed me that they had nothing, it was actually a compilation of antique ideas that were overused already. But then, in the days of innovation and many new things how can you be another person to bring something new? Isn’t that hypothetically impossible to attain?
Picture the following: your parents, their parents and so forth back into multiple generations, we had been dealing with wedding speeches. It doesn’t matter if it was a farmer’s speech or a rich man’s speech, but speeches always existed for weddings. So then, some people felt inspired and got filled with brand new ideas. These people were book writers, famously known or maybe you never heard about them. Still, the ideas they have compiled are being used even without ever reading their books. How come? Let’s say a book was written in 1970, containing many amazing and unique (at least unique in the 70s) ideas. So then, decades passed, today someone has new ideas. Without even knowing, most of these were in the book although you never read it.
Then comes the next question: how to be unique when even the newest things I can think of could probably be in a 5 year old book or maybe a book dating back from the 50s or 60s? Is this even possible? While books can contain words, chapters, illustrations, examples and many other details there is one thing no book ever wrote about: you and your personality.
The uniqueness of your personality
First of all you need to understand that while 50 or even 500 people might think the same way you think, might have the exact same opinions on aspects of life that you have, none of them have the same personality as you do. It’s a simple fact. You can replicate one’s hairstyle, clothing, whatever, but never the personality.
Even if you carefully follow one’s words, life and everything they have it is still not an authentic copy if you do the same things because you always need to watch the original or else your copying just failed completely.
The uniqueness of who you are can and must be brought into your father of the groom speech. If you fail to do that then you can’t make it unique despite of any amount of efforts you’d be capable of investing. Now, you might be wondering how come your personality can be included into the speech and then even more specifically, you might not know how to do that exactly.
First of all, the way you think, the way you say things and feel things – that is some part of your personality, easily includable in the speech. In other words, you can put your mentality, feelings, whatever else you think and find to be appropriate. By this I don’t mean that the speech is about you or your way of thinking. That would be wrong to assume. All I mean to say is that you can form the speech in a unique way, thanks to who you are.
For example, if you are a funny person, you certainly have your own way of being funny. This can be involved into the father of the groom speech introduction, but not by some sentences copied from here or from there, but more from your mind and your own ideas.
Furthermore, you can include some phrases or sayings that are only used by you, personally. I don’t mean to say that you can grab them from books or other places, but a personal method goes better.
Being inspired from sources other than the usual ones
People mostly use the same sources of inspiration when it comes to wedding speeches. Be it a father of the groom speech or anything else, people like to go by schemes, methods, certain books and certain articles and they limit themselves. Now, by limiting yourself to the sources that logically seem good to be used, you just cut off the chances you might have with sources that might feel weird.
For instance, let’s say you read some book, like Harry Potter. Although it’s definitely not for any wedding speech, you might realize some aspects of life or some ways to think just by watching the characters, what they did wrong, what they did right. All of that can bring you to your own conclusions and even newer ideas, things you can use anytime.
Then, there are so many movies. Again, it doesn’t have to be a romantic movie at all. You can just pick any random action movie, maybe one that has nothing to do with a man marrying a woman, and grab some inspiration from what the characters live, say and how circumstances push them to do wrong things and then again, other circumstances force to correct mistakes.
You can also talk with your wife and just go back to what you had in your marriage, good parts, bad parts – it’s like your personal life, your own story that might resemble 100 other stories, but can’t be the same. There aren’t multiple couples on this planet to live the very same things in their marriages. So that means exactly what you were looking for: something unique that can be brought into the speech.
Being unique by inventing some ideas that you think might work
Yes, this one is risky, big time. Still, I find it to be a nice challenge, something you should try. For example, you might come up with some acting/presentation with some friends as a part of your father of the groom speech. Did others do things similar to that? Maybe they did. Did anyone do it exactly the same way you do it? I guess that’s not possible because if that happens, it would only mean that you were looking for what others did and repeated their actions.
Then, it is not the only way. Maybe you write your speech as a poem. People might have written thousands of poems, yet there aren’t two poems to read the same words in the same order with the same meaning. If that would happen? It’s copy-paste, that’s what it’s called. If the poem you are going to write truly comes from your heart and from your mind, reflecting the way you understand and see things around you then it can’t be anything else than something really unique.
Maybe you are good with instruments, and you bring your Fender to rock a solo while speaking. Or maybe you wrote a song and your speech is like a song. None of these would be foolish – it all depends on how you assume your family and the guests will react. If you have some crazy ideas that won’t be well received at all, then I recommend you drop the idea completely and come up with something else. What I am trying to say is that you can’t afford the risk to go after things that are uncertain or likely undesirable. It’s better to think 10 times before going for an idea.
Play with the words
Sometimes if you put some words in different contexts, they tend to mean different things. You can write your speech in ways that the words you expressed are used with their secondary meanings, some subtle meaning that reveals from the context of your entire speech. That is not always easy to complete, it’s not always a five-minute job to come up with texts like that. Still if you take some more time and come up with your own ideas day by day, analyzing and comparing them to find out which the best ones are, then it’s likely to have amazing final results.
Toast proposals never need to be copied
I don’t know why people have a common belief or myth as to copying toast proposals. I mean, seriously, what are you thinking? Do you assume that the first man or woman to propose a wedding speech toast was like trained and studied 50 books? Maybe when the first toast was held, nobody even knew what toasting means and it was a brand new thing.
No, you can’t always be an inventor to come up with stuff only you have, but it’s always very simple if you choose to use your own thoughts and words. Yes, it is all that simple. Writing a toast is not complicated. Does it require some more time? Yes it definitely does! Does it need more of your attention to make sure it sounds like one? That is also needed, because without even noticing you might have some great words that better make up a story but not a toast proposal text. So, all in all, you need some efforts into it.
Of course, I strongly recommend people to read proposal texts. Or even more, it is far better to watch movies or video clips with wedding speech toasts. The more you watch, the more you observe, the better you begin to see how it is supposed to be made. By this I don’t mean to say you don’t have your own words or ideas – but watching others do it helps you form your own character, your own personal touch to it. Then, there are many articles and entire printed books, even e-books that reveal the art of proposing toasts within wedding speeches. If they are not necessarily for the father of the groom speech, it’s not a problem, because even other wedding speeches need similar toasts and you will quickly realize it all depends on what you feel and how you express the feelings with selected words, but shortly.